Sez Me …
When I first heard last Thursday’s game in Pittsburgh was delayed due to “unhealthy air,” my exaggerated olfactory sense suggested the smell was coming from either the Padres’ clubhouse or the general manager’s box.
It was both, but the odor from GM A.J. Preller’s suite especially was not sweet. Still, when has it been Chanel No. 5?
It all points to A. & J. And when it comes to surviving, he is baseball’s Moses.
Never have so few done so little with so much. Preller has assembled a brilliant cast with a lousy script. Flop. A lack of there being any there, there.
Last week our kids excelled as never before, losing two of three to the Nationals, then three straight to the Pirates, then the brutal OT defeat Friday in Cincinnati. Given the promise, circumstances and wealthy talent available, it may have been the worst stretch since whoever invented baseball invented baseball.
This isn’t over. But their season certainly appears to be — unless they can find a way to score 10 runs more than once a week.
The well they’ve dug for themselves is so deep, Peter Seidler may recoup some of his losses when they strike oil — black gold, Texas tea. It’s beyond doubtful they could even get to the surface, let alone into contention.
The room in which to turn around has the square footage of a test tube.
The excuses are lemmings, following one another over the cliff.
• Clayton Kershaw.
• Manager Bob Melvin.
• Preller.
• No fight.
• No chemistry.
• No leadership (“Captain” Manny Machado turned over the con on this submarine to his XO when he bravely refused to speak to the media after a loss in Pittsburgh).
• No pride (now that the couch stuffed with guaranteed money is there for the ultimate in relaxation).
• Petco Park (where only visitors can hit).
• Out of town ballparks (where they also can’t pump the clutch).
• I’ve even heard a call for Seidler to sell the team. What, he spends too much?
There are more, I guess. Norv Turner. Fredo Spanos. Jeff Moorad. Ribbon Cutter Mayor and His Band of Ham & Eggers (always a good guess). Downtown redevelopment. The homeless situation. Global warming changing the waterfront’s atmosphere. Ted Leitner’s absence from the booth.
Seidler? please. Peter’s only problem is that he dreams expensively and trusts Preller with his purse. Seidler doesn’t deserve this.
Granted, Melvin has not been without error. But even you Angry Villagers know desperate managers at times do desperate things. He’s grasping at straws in a wild, imperfect storm.
Players play. All Melvin can do is look at the roster and make out a lineup card. It was supposed to be formidable. It hasn’t been. Only for moments; not enough moments. Basically, this same team came within a few games of the 2022 World Series — and without Tatis, who remains a remarkable talent.
Quite frankly, the buck(s) stops at Preller’s desk. This is the team he built. Since he took over in 2014, his Padres are so far under .500 they will be the San Diego Abuelos before they even can get even. They can’t hit when it matters. At times they play great defense, then become the Marx Brothers. They lose most every close game and have yet to win in extras.
I hear Preller and Melvin get along like Russia and Ukraine, which shouldn’t be so shocking. It’s doubtful A.J. would have hired a successful veteran whose strings he couldn’t pull as he did with Andy Green and Jayce Tingler. I’m certain Seidler wanted experience on the bridge, and it sure looked every bit the great hire last year.
A centipede couldn’t point more fingers. Frankly, this mystery may end up being the Lost Colony of Roanoke. Unsolved.
I’ve never called for a firing. But one must wonder just how many more expensive ships can sink with Captain A.J. jumping off instead of going down with them. …
The Jets don’t want anything to do with “Hard Knocks,” which is such a phony portrait (“Smile for the camera”) of NFL camp life. But this is their chance to become the new Cowboys, who would Russian revolutionaries if it would get them more attention. …
Alleged bad guy Tyreek Hill allegedly offered the alleged marina worker he allegedly slapped an alleged $200 to forget the alleged incident. Allegedly. …
The other day I heard an experienced talking head say: “If Dak Prescott doesn’t throw two interceptions (vs. the 49ers), the Cowboys win that football game.” But, you see, he kind of did. …
You know, if Eve hadn’t eaten that apple. … If Chamberlain hadn’t caved at Munich. … If the carriers had been docked at Pearl Harbor. … If Wally Pipp played with that headache. …
Should Point Loma High’s Don Larsen’s perfect game stand alone? Somebody made a good point. Why is Don’s World Series perfecto included among the 24 thrown in history when other postseason statistics are separated? …
My top three fielding pitchers of all time are Greg Maddux, Bobby Shantz, and Not Tim Hill. …
I have no idea what makes a great manager. But I do know that, whatever it is, Bruce Bochy has it. On the list of the dumbest things the Padres have done — and that takes a forest of dead trees — there is no room at the top other than his firing. …
The Angels scored 25 in Denver, but after a week of investigation and study, atmospheric scientists believe they would have been shut out in Anaheim. …
In 1968, Bob Gibson threw 13 shutouts, five in a row, and had an ERA of 1.12. Today, when a manager came to pull him after five innings, he’d throw punches. …
When I think of “barrel rate,” now a nerd favorite, I think of my grandfather making wine and aging it in barrels for about 24 hours before it was considered drinkable (which it never was). …
Having played for every NBA team, James Harden is demanding a trade to the Syracuse Nationals. …
When an athlete in any sport says he or she is Hall of Fame-worthy, it means they are not. …
Italy reportedly is trying to set up a fight between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg in the Colosseum. “Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?” …
Among the talented victims of ESPN’s latest round of layoffs is Suzy Kolber, a 27-year starter. She is excellent. …
RIP, Alan Arkin. Brilliant. …
Eagles receiver Devon Allen just ran the 110-meter hurdles in 13:03, fourth fastest in the world this year. If he were allowed to run the 40 at the Combine, he’d probably ease up at 2.6. …
New York City is hiring itself a “rat czar.” Snitches beware. …
Double-Sigh O’ The Week: The Aztecs remain in the Mountain West. …
June Lockhart has turned 98. That makes Lassie, what? …
Turner Classic Movies has been talked off the ledge. Thanks, cooler heads. …
I really dislike artificial intelligence, although I’ve always been accused of it. …
A.I. is bringing us a step closer to elimination as a species. …
By the way, what is the I.Q. of A.I.?
Twitter: @sdutCanepa
